2006-05-30 - 2:06 p.m.

Im hurting right now. And im realizing that i cant blame my hurt soley on him. I have to take responsibility and thats not fun. Ive had to look at myself and ask why things may be hard for me right now, or why im feeling the way i do. its my own insecurities that have fostered this anxiety and ive got to work through that. Ive failed to see that i can be complete as an alone human being. Im hurting because i havent let God touch anything in my life. i havent given my problems over to him. Instead ive tried to hoist and carry them on my own shoulders, or to shoulder the burden to people that have burdens of their own. No wonder they're frusterated with me, i would be too. Im so needy, and i need to stop being that way. i need to learn to be okay with me. just me and no one else. There are loose ends i feel the need to tie up, problems ive created that i want to fix. Maybe i should. and stop letting other people run my life. Ive asked them to, so theres no harm in the fact that they are but goodness Brianne, you're a capable woman, handle your own life. I need to talk less about what im feeling. I need to stop requesting the world's help. Ive got it, i can do it. here i go.

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