I have a certain best friend who introduced me to HoPe. And it means different things for everyone, and this entry isnt going to be about what hope means for me, its going to be about the above quote...

The first time i started using that phrase was during the Best Deceptions phase. I thought it was over, but i really doubt it is. A good friend can atest to how crushed my hopes were when i thought best deceptions was over. I cried. Tears for me used to be a big thing, and i find they come more frequently now, nevertheless, they still have just as much emphasis and meaning, and heartfelt emotion attatched to them. I really cant let go of this "thing" but i really dont know if i can go for it full force again, because i dont want my high hopes crushed again. Altho they may already be soaring, because i still find that i get butterflies...

as for the other situation. I change every 5 seconds as to how i feel. and somehow i think i couldnt ever see the two of us...and then i do, without realizing it, and smile up a storm. The only time i ever have a problem with this perfection is when i start thinking about it too much...the only question i have is if u ever do. I dont and wont say anything about it anymore because last time i lost you for a bit when i did. I guess if its supposed to be it will, maybe the fates remember what didnt happen 3 years ago.